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wintercompanion2008-05-13 09:50 pm
rubychan05: History Repeats Itself (Nine/Jack) [PG-13]
Author:
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rubychan05 Challenge: Myth
Pairing: Nine/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Bad Wolf and Parting Of The Ways
Summary: The thing about legends is that they always repeat themselves.
History Repeats Itself
“They went off to fight a bigger war. The Time War.”
“I thought that was just a legend?”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jack thinks it’s just a legend.
His people died and burned in flames to save the universe, but their sacrifice goes unacknowledged, lost in the histories of time. The Time Lords have always been figures of respect, surrounded by myth and hearsay, yet it is the Daleks who survive through the words of others, not the ones who perished for the greater good.
Jack grew up with the threat of the Daleks always hanging over him, tales of the monster under your bed who’d exterminate you if you were bad, the promise that the Daleks would get you if you didn’t listen to your parents and eat your greens. He learnt about the 41st century Dalek Empire in school and most likely wrote essays on why they were the perfect killing machines and what psychologists called the Dalek Mindset.
The Time War, bloody and wretched as it is, is reduced to whispered fairy tales about a battle of gods, a charming little folk story that describes how the warriors of Time itself stepped in when it seemed all hope was lost and were destroyed so that humanity could flourish.
The Daleks go down in history as the greatest threat to the universe. His people are known as the foolish old ones who fought a war they could not win.
It makes the Doctor feel vaguely ill, and even though he knows none of this is Jack’s fault he can’t help resenting him slightly for it.
Then he looks at Jack and sees the fear hidden deep within him, the sheer terror he’s concealing behind the mask of a strategising soldier. Today Jack will face the Bogeyman hiding in his closet, and he can’t hate him now. He could never hate him.
There are few beings in this universe the Doctor has ever truly felt hatred for, and there’s no way anything Jack has done can put him on a level with the unmerciful Daleks, the sadistic Family of Blood, the just too patriotic Harriet Jones.
Jack smiles at him, all teeth and no substance, but the Doctor knows he wouldn’t have him any other way.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I was there. The war between the Daleks and the Time Lords, with the whole of creation at stake. My people were destroyed but they took the Daleks with them. I almost thought it was worth it. Now it turns out they died for nothing.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He sends Jack off to die for him.
He sends Jack off to die for him and Jack goes willingly.
He sends Jack off to die for him and Rose home in the TARDIS, and Jack still looks at him with worshipful eyes even after realising the truth.
It wasn’t the first time his lips touched Jack’s flesh, but it was the first time they shared a kiss, and were the Doctor a weaker man he’d weep at the irony. Instead of a last kiss goodbye all they had was a million regrets, and it’s somehow fitting that the Doctor’s first kiss since his new regeneration should happen in circumstances like these.
He doesn’t know why he didn’t send Jack back with Rose. It would have been far better to throw him at the mercy of the 21st century and Jackie Tyler than doom him to extermination by Dalek, yet he still let Jack run off to lead his pitiful army with barely a second thought.
Jack’s a soldier. He tells himself this and tries to convince himself that Jack will be fine. Jack was with the Time Agency...he dealt with subterfuge and pain and death for nearly 12 years before his memory loss made him run from them. This isn’t his first war by a long run.
But it will be his last.
On some level he half expects Jack to find a way off the satellite against all odds and run at the last moment, so it’s something of a shock to see the Captain on the video phone swearing he’ll never doubt him. He ignores the Dalek Emperor’s gleeful words of how the Doctor will destroy the Earth and just smiles. He practically tells the Doctor that it’s ok to keep going since Rose is safe, as if she’s all that matters and the Earth is just necessary collateral damage.
Then the Doctor remembers the first night he made Jack scream his name, how he dodged the strangely uncertain kiss Jack aimed at him afterwards and just rolled out of bed, making Jack promise not to say a word to Rose.
It’s not Jack making sacrifices for the sake of winning the war. It’s Jack telling him what he thinks the Doctor needs to hear because in his mind Rose is the only thing that matters to the Doctor.
There’s more to the Captain than the Doctor ever let himself see, and now he’ll never get the chance. All he can do is make sure he’s smiling the last time Jack will ever see him, hope Jack can tell that even if he didn’t really show it he still cared about him. He’ll never know whether Jack sees that smile, as the feed cuts out shortly after Jack’s words of belief.
The last time he hears Jack is as the Captain races back towards the room he’s building the Delta Wave in. The last man standing, the only other non-Dalek left alive in the whole station. Gunshots echo along the corridors, running feet coming to a stop right outside the door.
“For God’s sake Doctor, finish that thing and kill them!” Jack shouts, and the desperation in that voice is almost worse than the Daleks’ screeching promise of extermination. He knows he’s about to die. He knows he’s about to die and the only thing left he can do is ensure his death is not in vain.
Then there’s the wail of death rays, the thud of Jack’s body hitting the wall, and the Doctor slots the last part into place, completing the machine Jack gave up his life for.
He chooses cowardice over destruction and the machine is never activated.
Jack dies for nothing, just like his people, and it’s the Doctor’s fault all over again.
no subject
And Jackie Tyler...better or worse than a Dalek? It all depends on your point of view now really, doesn't it... ^_^
Thanks for commenting!
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I love Jackie, but I think some days the Doctor would rather face a Dalek army than her. I would have paid good money to see Jack and Jackie interact, because I could see her falling to his charm or hating him for being further proof that the Doctor's travels are dangerous.
I also want to see Jackie duke it out with a Dalek.no subject
And I liked this. Very poignant, sad, full of wasted opportunities and regrets, but also a testament to a brave man and the other brave man who loved him :)
no subject
Thanks for those lovely comments!