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wintercompanion2009-07-22 06:37 pm
Yamx: Wounds (2/2) (Jack/Nine) [PG-13]
Title: Wounds (2/2)
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
yamx
Beta: wendymr
Prompt group: 14: communication - talk - telepathy – touch
Rating: PG-13 (no explicit smut, but plenty of innuendo; strong language, up to and including the f-word)
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction; the characters are the property of the BBC and used here without permission. No money was made.
Spoilers/warnings: The Doctor Dances; some allusions to TW season 2
Summary: “Jack will never forgive me for this,” the Doctor thinks. “But at least he’ll be alive.”
This is the latest installment in the “Deal”-series. Go here for earlier stories.
Go to part 1
Jack wakes up with a yawn. He slowly rubs his eyes. God, why is he so tired?
Memory comes back. The wound. The telepathy holding him still… still? He looks at his hands rubbing his face, and grins. He can move!
Rose is still lying next to him, sleeping. He carefully touches her shoulder. “Rose? Rose, wake up!”
She slowly comes to, nuzzling her face into the mattress. “Lemme…” He watches as her eyes suddenly fly open. “Jack? You can talk-”
He grins and waves at her. “And move!”
“Oh Jack, that’s wonderful!” She hugs him happily. And he hugs her back.
“Thank you. For being with me.”
She suddenly freezes and withdraws, quickly getting up from the bed. “Jack, I…” She takes deep breath and looks him straight in the eyes. “Jack, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be silly.”
“But I-“
“Hush.” He presses a finger to her lips. “Rose. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Would probably have stumbled over that root no matter what. You just shoved my shoulder a little, you didn’t push me over the edge. It wasn’t your fault, it was an accident.”
“But-“
“Accident.” He mock-glares at her. “Are we clear?”
She nods. “Okay. But I’m sorry, yeah? I just want you to know that.”
“Oh, Rose.” He grabs her hand and quickly presses a kiss to her palm. “I do know that. But it wasn’t your fault – or if it was, you’re forgiven.” He smiles at her warmly, and holds her gaze until she returns the smile.
He slowly begins to sit up. His abdomen is still sore, and he needs to use his arms to push himself upright. He carefully pushes the med generators off himself and deftly pulls out the IV needle.
“Jack, I’m not sure you should-“
“It’s fine. Wound’s healed up. Just sore now.” He smiles at her reassuringly. “Believe it or not, I’ve actually had worse.”
She shudders. “Do you need anything?”
“Nah.” He looks at her imploringly. “Go grab a shower or something? I need to have a serious word with a certain Time Lord. Privately.”
Rose bites her lips, looking up at him through her lashes. “You really are angry at him, then?”
He nods. “Oh yes. Just not for the reason he thinks.”
*****
Not surprisingly, he finds the Time Lord in the TARDIS control room, buried deep beneath the console, only his feet sticking out. Other people drink when they’re in pain. The Doctor tinkers.
Jack clears his throat, and hears a loud thump as the Doctor clearly hits his head on something metal. In a flurry of gangly arms and legs, the Time Lord scrambles out from under the console. Relief, fear, pain, and anger are warring on his face.
“Jack! What the hell are you doing up?”
“Had to come looking for you, didn’t I? Since you weren’t there.”
“Back to bed, now!”
“No.”
The Doctor takes a quick step towards him and grabs his arm. “You need to rest and I need to check you over.”
Jack freezes. Very pointedly, he stares at the Doctor’s hand on his arm, then looks up at the Time Lord.
The Doctor lets go and steps back, flinching as if he’s been burned. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “You won’t want me to-“
“Do I get to decide what I want, goddammit?” He takes a step towards the Doctor, squaring his shoulders.
“I- ‘course you do. I’m just… I’m sorry.”
Jack scoffs. “Do you even know what I’m so pissed off about?”
“’Course I do. I went into your mind without permission.” The Doctor is clearly fighting to keep looking at him.
“No. Wrong answer. I don’t fucking care about that. In fact, thank you. You saved my life.” He is grateful, of course, but right now he’s so full of anger that he’s well aware his thanks sound more like an insult than anything else.
“But I- I just waltzed in- you put up barriers, and I just- You didn’t want me to-“
“I was a Time Agent, for fuck’s sake! I went through psych training. Was never all that good at it, mind you, but got some things drilled into me anyway. And one of those is a barrier reflex. Anyone tries to enter my mind when I’m not aware – sleeping, unconscious, distracted, whatever – the barriers snap up automatically. I don’t even know I’m doing it most of the time. Certainly didn’t yesterday.”
“Oh.” The Time Lord’s shoulders slump. “So you weren’t telling me to stay out?”
“No, I fucking wasn’t!”
“I just know how you hate having your mind messed with and-“
“You were saving my life!” He’s yelling so loudly now that he can feel the strain on his barely-healed muscles. “Don’t you trust me to have the basic intelligence to distinguish between a breach of privacy and an emergency measure? Do you think I’m that much of an idiot?”
The Time Lord shakes his head quickly. “’Course not! You’re not an idiot! But… well… what are you so angry about, then?”
He takes two steps and is standing inches from the Doctor. He draws himself up to his full height, sore muscles be damned. “You left me,” he spits. “You just decided that what you’d done was unforgivable, and went off somewhere to wallow in self-loathing, when I fucking needed you.”
“But Rose-“
“Rose is sweet and she was there for me and I love her even more for that, but she’s not the one I- the one I’m with. And, for all her strength and warmth, having her around is simply not as reassuring and comforting as having you with me would have been!”
The Time Lord drops his gaze. “But I thought-“
“You thought I’d dump you as soon as I could, and went ahead and acted on that. Before I’d had any chance to say a word, you’d mentally ended our relationship.”
The Doctor looks up at him again. His voice is low and dark. “Yeah, I did. I just assumed. I’m sorry.”
With a grim nod, Jack takes a step back. “That’s better.”
“Should have been there for you, Jack. You needed me. Too busy wallowing, like you said.” The last words sound bitter, and the Doctor turns his head away.
“You’re doing it again now,” Jack points out sharply.
The Doctor’s head snaps back. “No! Listening to you. Paying attention.”
Jack shakes his head. He has the most impossible man in the universe for a lover. But then, he knew that. He can feel his anger retreat, and be replaced by exasperation and something almost like amusement.
“So…” The Doctor’s hearts are in his eyes. Rarely has Jack seen him so open. “Is it over?”
Jack raises an eyebrow.
“Not making assumptions! ‘M asking.”
Jack steps towards the Time Lord and kisses him. Hard, punishing. It’s not often that he controls a kiss like this, but – after the first second of shock – the Doctor is open, eager, following his lead.
Jack breaks the kiss. “It’s not over. I love you, you stupid non-ape.” He grins.
The Doctor’s grin is equal parts embarrassment and sheer relief. “Thank you.”
“But don’t ever dare to do this to me again, you hear? If I ever decide to dump you, I’ll tell you so. Don’t need you to do it for me.”
“All right.”
“If there’s a problem, we’ll talk. I know you hate that, but it’s got to be better than jumping to ridiculous conclusions.”
The Doctor nods mutely.
Jack puts a hand on his lover’s cheek and cocks his head at him. “Deal?” he asks, deliberately using the same word they sealed their relationship with the first time.
The Doctor barks out a laugh. “Deal,” he confirms.
When Rose comes to the console room half an hour later, she finds the door locked. She tries to open it, but the TARDIS is very insistent that she should not go in there for a while. With a blush and a relieved giggle, Rose goes to make some tea.
*****
Supper that night is delightful. Despite the Doctor’s nagging and insisting he only eat light foods. Despite Rose nervously confessing their play-fighting to the Time Lord. Despite the mild telling-off they both get for wandering off in the first place. They are together, and they love each other, and all is right with the world.
*****
That evening, lying on their – well, technically Jack’s, but who cares? – bed after another rousing bout of lovemaking, the Doctor is feeling a warm contentment he did not think he’d ever be allowed to feel again. Once more, humans’ astonishing capability for love and forgiveness is almost overwhelming. So different from his own people. Had he done what he did to one of them, he’d have been shunned. Or worse.
Jack is lying in his arms, seeming perfectly content to cuddle against his shoulder. But suddenly, he feels Jack tense. “Something wrong? Is the pain back?” he asks, concerned.
“Nah. Well, a little. But it’s fine. Just a little sore.”
“What is it, then?”
“I was just wondering…” Jack pushes himself up to look at him. “When you were in my mind…”
He flinches. “Yeah?”
“Well, you didn’t… happen to see any of my missing memories, did you?”
“Didn’t look. Just went in and out as quickly as possible. Didn’t want to intrude more than I had to.”
Jack nods. He’s looking thoughtful. “Could you, though?”
The Doctor sits up abruptly. Jack has to scramble into a seated position as his armrest disappears. “You want me to go into your mind again?”
“Invited. Because I’m asking you to. Could you find them?” The hope in his eyes almost breaks the Doctor’s hearts.
“Don’t know. Would have to see. Depends on if they actually deleted them. If they just covered them up, or severed the connection – then maybe.”
Jack crosses his legs and assumes the pose most humans associate with meditation. “Do it!” he says eagerly.
“What, right now?”
“No time like the present, right?” He winks, then closes his eyes.
The Doctor hesitates. “You sure? I couldn’t just go straight for those two years – would have to actually look through your memories to try and find them.”
Jack frowns. “Through everything?”
“Well – till I find them. But if there’s anything you don’t want me to see, just put up a barrier.”
Jack snorts. “Because my barriers are so good at keeping you out.”
“Because I never would go where I’m not welcome if there was even the slightest choice.”
Jack opens his eyes. They’re full of guilt. “I knew that. Sorry.”
He shakes his head and presses his hands to his lover’s temples. “Ready?”
Jack’s eyes close again. “Yeah.”
He makes contact.
*****
He’s in a long corridor – a TARDIS corridor, in fact. He smiles inwardly. He knew Jack thinks of the TARDIS as home, but he hadn’t realized he’d internalized that so much already.
There are lots of open doors, so he starts looking around. Bar scenes. Fire fights. Classes at the Academy. And sex. Lots of sex.
He doesn’t comment. It’s not polite. He just wanders along the corridor, looking for clues. Turns left – entirely on instinct – at the next intersection. Different scenes here. A house at the beach. A gray sea, and lots of sand. Two boys playing-
A barrier slams up and he takes a step back, startled.
Sorry, he hears Jack’s voice drifting through the air.
He shakes his head. “Don’t be. You shut off anything you want.” There are several blocked doors now, then another intersection. The rooms in this corridor are lurid, full of floating colors. Fantasies, then. Most of them erotic. Why is he not surprised?
He can feel Jack’s grin in the air. Hope I’m not embarrassing you.
“Nah. I’m just complimented you think I’m that bendy.” He grins, and feels a chuckle playing through the air.
I could teach you.
“Nah, I don’t think-“ He stops suddenly, transfixed. “Jack – that could never work.”
Jack’s laughter surrounds him. That’s a memory, actually. More than one. It’s only a fantasy here because you’re in it.
“But – really? With a plunger?”
Intense amusement fills the air. Wanna bet?
“No, but…” A slow grin spreads over his face. “I know where there’s a plunger in the TARDIS!”
Something very much like a kiss ghosts through his mind, and he feels as if his right cheek has been pinched – and not the one in his face. Find it, and I’ll show you. Promise.
The Doctor chuckles, but then sobers. “Sorry, shouldn’t be standing here wool-gathering.” He continues along the corridor.
A few wrong turns and many revelations about the true extent of his lover’s flexibility later, he suddenly feels a change in the atmosphere. Something cold. Very out of place. “Jack? I think I’m getting close.” He turns a corner, and barely manages to avoid falling into a huge black chasm. “Yep. Think I found it.”
Jack’s mental presence is weaker here, unfocused, drifting. “’S okay. Don’t try to force your way in. Let me have a look first.”
He carefully probes the darkness. Does the mental equivalent of tossing a pebble down to see how deep it is. Inspects the edges. Then he sighs, and withdraws to the last corridor, where Jack’s presence is stronger.
And?
The voice is hopeful, eager, trusting. It’s breaking his hearts to disappoint. “Sorry.”
He feels Jack’s spirits sink. Oh.
“There’s nothing there. Nothing I can unlock or repair. Just a huge gap. It’s unnatural.” He strokes the wall gently, that being the closest he can get to physically comforting Jack right now.
It’s fine. Doesn’t matter.
“Never a good idea to lie on the mental plane, lad. Too darn obvious.”
Sorry. I’d just so hoped there’d be something, but… I’ll live.
The Doctor nods and strokes the wall again. “Brace yourself. I’m pulling out.”
*****
He opens his eyes and prepares to take his hands off Jack’s temples, but before he can, his lover has grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Hungry, demanding, seeking comfort. He gladly gives all he can. Wishes he could have done more than this. In fact, he privately resolves that, one day, he will. There must be some way to get information, even if he has to creatively exploit some timey-wimey loopholes. But he won’t mention that to Jack yet. No point getting the lad’s hopes up.
Jack breaks the kiss, and smiles at him, in a way that almost reaches his eyes. “Thanks for trying.”
“’Course. Sorry it didn’t do any good.”
Jack grins. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”
“Oh?”
The grin turns into a leer. “Well, at least it’s given us some new ideas.”
The Doctor feels his face split into a wide grin. “I’ll go and get the plunger!”
The End
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Okay, no, I won't even speculate. Anyway, very nicely done. Thanks for sharing :-)
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I'm not touching that with a ten-foot plunger!
;)
Anyway, very nicely done. Thanks for sharing :-)
You're welcome! Thanks for commenting!
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And another example of Just talk a bit more could spare so much trouble.
I wish I could write that fast in the moment.
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Well, in his defense, Jack couldn't talk. In the Doctor's defense.... nah, he's just being an idiot. ;)
You should see all the OTHER things I'm supposed to be doing but am not... *gulp*
Thank you for commenting. :)
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Loved this. :)
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And then kissed and snuggled and forgiven, of course. *G*
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