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wintercompanion2008-06-23 01:19 am
vail-kagami: Eavesdropping (Jack/Ten, Donna) [PG]
Author:
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vail_kagamiChallenge: Technogeekery
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Jack having fun.
Summary: Donna hears something she just knows can't be what it sounds like. Still, never hurts to make sure.
Notes: Short and pointless. After the 33.000 + words story I wrote for the Myths challenge I needed a break.
“Jack, the tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator is not meant to be used in that particular way!”
“True. If it was it’d have a lot more knops and holes in strategic areas. But it’ll do. As you can see I made a few modifications.”
“Only you could get the idea to… Ow!”
“Keep still, or it’ll hurt!”
“It hurts now!”
Donna paused in front of the door. Listening to other people’s private conversations was not a thing she should do but the Doctor spoke about being in pain (even if, as it seemed, not very much) and that, she decided, gave her an excuse to stop and press her ear against the door. Still the conversation inside seemed a bit too private to just go in and see what it was about, as now Jack said:
“Your TARDIS is a wasteland when it comes to stuff like this! I looked everywhere, in every attic, every basement, even in the cabinet where you keep the brooms you never use. Well, I brought one to use it later but that’s not the point. There was nothing! Nada! You collect all this junk and yet there is not one single item intended to be used here. Since you know so little about this I’d have thought you’d have picked one or two things by accident, but no! Makes me think you’re not quite as clueless s you pretend to be.”
Donna gasped, stopping herself from pushing open the doors at the last millisecond. Surely this wasn’t what it sounded like? It couldn’t be! If she stormed in there now she’d see the Doctor and Jack sitting amidst a number of weird technical stuff used for working on the TARDIS or something similarly undramatic. They’d figure out what she’d thought and laugh about her.
And then she’d have to kill them.
Although she’d like to know what Jack needed the broom for…
Through the door she heard something that sounded a lot like rattling chains.
“What do you need the broom for?” the Doctor asked nervously. In the brief silence that followed Donna could almost hear Jack roll his eyes.
“Okay, you are that clueless! Oh well, let me show you!”
“No! Wait! You can’t be serious! You can’t… with a broom!”
‘You can’t what with a broom?’ Donna nearly asked out loud.
“To be honest, the broom was just in case I found nothing better. You know I prefer the more high tech stuff, hence the extrapolator. Although as you can see there’s only so much we can do with it.”
“You’re doing quite a lot with it already.” The Doctor’s voice sounded slightly pressed.
“You just think that because you’re new to this. Wait a few weeks… Anyway, you’re lucky: I did find something better than the broom.” From the sound of his voice Jack was grinning. There was a noise like wood clattering on the floor and then Jack said with obvious glee:
“Look at this!”
“Jack! That’s mine! You stole it”
“Indeed. And I have to say the Master’s was much bigger! But see: I’ve got that one too!”
‘Now, this is getting ridiculous,’ Donna thought. They had to be talking about technical tools or something. Still she breathed a soundless sigh of relief when she heard the Doctor protest:
“The sonic screwdriver isn’t a toy, Jack!”
And her shoulders slumped when he continued:
“And the laser screwdriver is a weapon! It isn’t meant to be used that way! Give it back!”
“About to. Here it comes!”
“What are you… Ahh!”
“You got it! Didn’t you ever wonder where the word ‘screwdriver’ comes from? It even has a vibrator setting!”
In return the Doctor made an unintelligible noise.
And Donna finally had enough. With an exasperated “What’s going on here?” she pushed open the door, expecting to find something harmless going on and making a complete fool of herself. She knew how situations like this worked.
Then she stopped. And stared.
“What the…” The word ‘hell’ didn’t come across her lips. It seemed inadequate, somehow, as she took in the clothes strewn across the floor, the creative arrangement of various technical equipment, the chains and the nakedness and the Doctor’s wide, mortified eyes staring back at her. She tried again.
“What the fuck!” she wanted to know.
Jack beamed at her, the smaller of the screwdrivers still in hand.
“Exactly!” he grinned.
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*trades places with Donna*
It's never what it sounds like the lucky woman.
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At long last, a scenario that's exactly as dirty as it sounds!
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“Okay, you are that clueless! Oh well, let me show you!”
“No! Wait! You can’t be serious! You can’t… with a broom!”
ROFL!! That was the point when I figured they were talking about something else. Apparently Donna and I were both wrong! Go figure! That's what I get for assuming something innocent.
“What the…” The word ‘hell’ didn’t come across her lips. It seemed inadequate, somehow, as she took in the clothes strewn across the floor, the creative arrangement of various technical equipment, the chains and the nakedness and the Doctor’s wide, mortified eyes staring back at her. She tried again.
“What the fuck!” she wanted to know.
Jack beamed at her, the smaller of the screwdrivers still in hand.
“Exactly!” he grinned.
I love it! :D This was so much fun! Again, you're showing your amazing versatility as an author. You're able to write angst like no other then switch to lighthearted humor.
Thanks for the great read. This is just what I needed tonight!
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Thanks anyway! I'm glad you liked it.
Is everything alright?
If you need funny stories I'd reccoment the various fics that have popped up for sarkywoman's Crack Finale meme - starting with hers.
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Yeah, everything's fine. I've worked about twelve days straight and it's starting to wear thin. No worries, though. :)
I'll definitely check that fics on Sarky's journal. I know I'm way behind on my reading. I just couldn't pass up this little gem written by you. :D
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What happened to your three-days-weekend?
At least you'll have some days off soon. Hope you have fun on your trip!
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Yep, I'll have many days off very soon!
Are you going to be around tomorrow night? Maybe we could have a final chat or something before I go? I know typically Tuesdays aren't good for you, but I was thinking we could catch up early.
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Too bad - but if you'd have a moment now...?
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I'm thrilled you're spending time with your friend. :) It's not like I'm going anywhere any time soon. :P We'll catch up when I get home.
Have a great time at your parents' place!
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