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wintercompanion2008-01-25 10:35 pm
rubychan05: Five New Year's Resolutions Jack Didn't Keep (And One He Did) [Multiple] [PG-13]
Title: Five New Year's Resolutions Jack Didn't Keep (And One He Did)
Author: rubychan05
Challenge: New Year
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/warnings: All New Who. All TW up to 2x01
Summary: He keeps making promises. They're always just out of his reach.
Five New Year's Resolutions Jack Didn't Keep (And One He Did)
He wakes up the morning after his first big party feeling like the world's going to end, and the bang it's going out with just happens to be in his head. It was only two days ago he walked out of the ship and into Time Agency HQ, but it feels like he's somehow been lingering in these hallways forever, sleeping in this bunk since the day he was born.
In hindsight he thinks that it probably wasn't a good idea to let Dean talk him into going to the Agency's annual booze up, especially since he's going to be using the space-flight simulators later. The senior recruits have all told him the horror stories about the poor saps who've thrown up in there, the people whose names have gone down in Agency history for reasons they never wanted as their claim to fame. The way he's feeling now, Jack has the horrid feeling that he's going to be joining those exclusive ranks soon.
It's five days past the beginning of the New Year, and as Jack finds himself upside down yet again with the horrible feeling of his insides trying to come up to say hello to his mouth he finally decides what his new year's resolution is going to be.
He is never going to touch even a drop of alcohol ever again.
Despite his body's urging he holds down the vomit and passes the class with flying colours, no pun intended. There are the usual pats on the back from his fellow cadets before the teachers decide that he's ready to see the actual hub of the Agency, and Jack can barely hold in his excitement as he stands on the balcony and waits for one of the two-man teams to report back. This is what he's going to be doing one day, and he already knows he's going to love it. He waits for the pair to teleport in and receive the expected storm of applause for completing their mission, wondering how long it'll be until it's him out there.
There's a flash of blue light and an agent stumbles forward, one arm wrapped around his stomach to seal the wound in his gut. His other arm is wrapped around a burnt lump that Jack thinks may once have been a pretty blonde girl hardly older than himself, and suddenly Jack's breakfast is rushing up to greet him again.
When he gets back to his room he pours himself a hyper-vodka and drinks like he's never drunk before.
*-*-*-*-*-*
He spends five damn years trapped in that time loop with Dean, and the only thing that makes it bearable is that a) he's not the only one stuck in this thing and b) Dean's definitely not against the odd screw or two to ease the boredom.
By the time they get out they've repeated the exact same sequence of events no less than 130 times, and Jack's thinking that perhaps he should settle down with Dean, make their two-man team permanent. God knows he's spent enough time with the man already to know he's bearable.
He watches Dean shrug off his Agency commissioned jacket as the clock rings in the New Year and promises himself that he's going to be a one man guy for the rest of his life. He's ready to tell Dean, except he knows that that's just going to earn him a slap across the head for being such a girl and enough mocking to keep his ears ringing for years to come.
Jack fully intends to keep his promise, except that Dean seems intent on spicing up their sex life even further - six threesomes and an orgy later, Jack decides that it was just a mixture of elation and relief that made him choose that resolution, and mentally declares it void.
He breaks it off with Dean after only two more days and finds himself a new partner.
A few centuries later Dean steps through the rift as Captain John Hart and then everything goes to hell.
*-*-*-*-*-*
He watches the fireworks from the roof of the pub and swallows his whiskey with barely a grimace. It's his first New Year's celebration since discovering he's immortal, and the whole thing just feels like a joke to him now. He's eternal; never to die, never to wither from old age. Time has no meaning for him anymore, so what does it matter whether it's 1892 or 1893?
He's not even forty yet, won't ever be if he gets technical about it, but Jack still feels so old. The knowledge that he'll still be here after a thousand years burns through him like acid and he smashes the glass against the slate tiles, leaping to his feet and cursing loudly at the colourful lights that are exploding in the sky above him.
He swears that the next time he dies he'll find a way to stay dead.
A firework explodes with a large crack that has Jack stumbling backwards and he slips, his foot landing on air and sending him crashing to the concrete floor at the back of the pub. His neck snaps with a terrible crack that would turn the stomach of a lesser man and everything fades to black.
One and a half minutes later exactly Jack wakes up with a sore back and a neck cramp.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Around the time he hits 25 Jack decides that love is overrated and that his life would be much more simple if he just left it well alone. He starts going after the ones he can tell are after sex with no feelings, and it works out so well that he makes his new resolution never to fall in love again.
He manages to keep that oath for another ten years - sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but Jack's found that nothing stops loneliness better than a good hyper-vodka and a good shag with the nearest available person. He keeps renewing his resolution and thinks that maybe he's finally found one he can keep.
A big eared man in a leather jacket shakes his hand and Jack knows he's in trouble.
And perhaps it would have been alright if the Doctor had been abusive and stuck up, but the man just happens to be the exact opposite, and before he knows it Jack's head over heels for him. The Doctor makes him want to try again, makes him want to be the man he used to be before entering the Time Agency. He finds himself throwing his life on the line time and time again, just because he wants to be noticed. He even starts toning down the flirting with Rose, which is almost painful for someone so used to the language of attraction.
Nothing works, and Jack's almost ready to give up when he accidentally fixes the chameleon circuit in the TARDIS. It only stays working for a few days but it's more than enough to catch the attention of a certain Time Lord and Jack finds himself with everything he's been wanting for so long.
The Daleks exterminate his body, but it's the Doctor who kills him in the end.
His heart breaks, and Jack just wishes he'd managed to keep that resolution.
*-*-*-*-*-*
It's New Year ‘s Day on planet Earth and the sky should be aglow with light, the streets filled with drunken party goers. Except that the Toclaphane are killing everyone who set foot outside their door and all fireworks got banned by the Master in case they were used as weapons against him.
He told himself that this year he wouldn’t let anyone get the better of him, because after Billis and his team’s betrayal he was more than fed up with being the one who always suffered for the ambition and foolishness of others.
He didn’t expect that following the Doctor would end up with him chained in a sky ship’s engine room, shirt still bloody from where his back was flayed open this morning. And it makes him angry, because not only has he let the Master get the better of him he’s also let the Doctor catch him unawares.
He’d guessed they had issues to sort out, but he’d never thought the Doctor would just tell him he was Wrong to his face. Or that he’d be sucked into a mission to save a Time Lord’s soul because the Doctor was lonely and Jack wasn’t good enough for him. In some ways he’s let the Doctor screw him over far worse than the Master has managed to do, and that’s saying something when in three months Jack has died no less than 212 times at the hands of the same man the Doctor wanted to save.
He’s a toy, a stupid Wrong toy, and Jack can’t believe he let himself fall for that ‘be a hero’ spiel again. He’s fine with being a hero – he saves lives everyday with his team. But he has to do it his way; he can’t just live his life to the standards the Doctor thinks he should be living by. He gave the vortex manipulator to Martha because it’s all he could do for her, and he hopes the Doctor can see the irony. Martha was saved by technology used by the Time Agency and Torchwood, two agencies that Jack’s worked for. Two agencies that the Doctor’s in a private war with.
And yes, he’s done things he’s regretted over the years, but the Doctor can’t ever understand. He just swoops in and saves the day, flies off as soon as the crisis is averted. He doesn’t have to deal with the cleanup, or tell some little boy’s parents that a Weevil tore his heart out. The Doctor can just live in that little naïve fantasy world where everything turns out right and he can reach someone if he just tries hard enough.
It’s because of the Doctor that the Master has the world by the throat, and Jack hates him for it.
*-*-*-*-*-*
When he goes back to his team everything’s different, and Jack can see how the hole where he used to fit has shrunk almost too small for him to squeeze back into. He tucks himself in and forces it where he can’t do anything else, until he’s almost a proper member of the team again. He knows the others missed him, and the fact that they didn’t reject him outright is almost hope enough, except that he’s no longer sure what his role is in this fivesome is anymore.
He used to be the leader, the go-to-guy, except that Gwen seems to have taken that job now. And there’s no way he can just do a straight swap either, because he’s in no way innocent enough to believe in the world like Gwen used to do. He’s seen far too many torture chambers and deaths for that to be possible.
Owen and Tosh have changed too; Owen’s a bit more stable, Tosh is a bit more lively. But the one who’s changed the most is Ianto, and when Jack looks at him now he can’t help wondering if he ever knew him at all.
He made decisions during the year-that-never-was, made himself wake up from the little dream he’d let the Doctor drag him into and face reality. The Doctor’s never going to look at him the same again; he may come back for Jack again some day and take him away with him because the TARDIS is lonely, but they’re never going to be what they used to be.
Ianto though…Ianto’s never hidden the way he feels for him. Whether it was the hatred after Lisa or the blind passion during that incident involving a stopwatch and Jack’s desk, Ianto’s eyes have always given him away. And when Jack gathers all his courage to ask Ianto for a date those eyes scream everything that Ianto’s not letting show on his face.
Even after all this time Ianto loves him, and Jack thinks that he’s probably just that little bit in love with him too.
Their first official date goes smoothly, and before Jack knows it a year has gone by and he’s head over heels with Ianto. They order Chinese and spend the evening in Jack’s office, laughing and trying to work out how they lasted this long. Ianto’s lips are rosy and swollen from Jack’s kisses, and Jack’s just wondering what the most romantic way of getting Ianto down the hatch into his bedroom would be when he hears it.
The achingly familiar grating of the TARDIS’ engines.
He freezes, ignoring Ianto’s questioning glance as he stumbles to his feet and looks out into the main Hub. The TARDIS sits there, looking oddly out of place in the middle of Jack’s headquarters. He opens the door and steps onto the balcony, barely registering Ianto’s startled gasp as his lover follows him out, only focused on the brown haired man who’s just walked out of the police box.
The Doctor tilts his head, looks up, and suddenly it’s the middle of World War Two all over again and all Jack wants to do is run down those stairs and follow the Doctor back into the TARDIS, leave everything behind him to go travelling once again.
Then Ianto’s hand tentatively reaches out and takes his own, and Jack starts as he realises that Ianto’s shaking, that the other man knows Jack’s about to leave him again. He turns and feels his gut twist at the look of devastation in those dark eyes, the betrayal and hurt there echoing what he once felt himself stranded on a space satellite a few thousand years into the future.
It’s enough to make him curl his fingers reassuringly around Ianto’s, to make him step back from the rail even as he locks eyes with the Doctor. He remembers why going with the Doctor’s a bad idea, the resolution he made this year to be the best boyfriend he could for Ianto.
The Doctor smiles sadly and steps back into the TARDIS, the blue lights flashing as it fades for what is possibly the last time out of his life.
It’s the first New Year’s resolution he’s ever kept, and it nearly kills him.
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Sorry. I mean, this is a really good story that makes me very sad (and angry).
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And sorry if it made you sad. ^_^ I love Doctor/Jack all the way, but somehow I can't see Jack just running back to him now like he used to...
Thanks for commenting!
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(Although you may turn into a Janto fan too....dear me)
Wonderful!
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Thanks for commenting!
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I'm a sucker for most Jack/? pairings, ever since I fell in love with Doctor/Jack, so I couldn't help myself here!
Love the icon...I've seen a mood theme of that somewhere around, I'm sure...hysterical!
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Thanks for commenting!