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wintercompanion2010-07-07 01:23 am
trobadora) wrote in wintercompanion2010-07-07 01:23 am
newra_skylarke: The Benediction of Amy Pond (Eleven/Jack) [PG] - SUMMER HOLIDAYS, PROMPT 4
Title: The Benediction of Amy Pond
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
newra_skylarke
Challenge: Summer Holidays 2
Prompt Group: 4 - sober - babble - benediction - forget
Rating: PG... Nothing noteworthy. Mostly Jack being miserable!
Pairing: Eleven/Jack, with an undertone of Jack/Ianto
Spoilers/Warnings: to be on the safe side, let’s say that the spoilers run up to the current episode of Doctor Who (5.11... or whichever one it was with the bloke from Gavin and Stacey in) and the end of Torchwood COE... and warnings.... well....
Summary: Jack drinks himself stupid, the Doctor comes to help.
Jack took another glass from the bar man and downed it in one. The sharp spirit in the glass burned as it went down, but that just told him he hadn't drunk enough of it. He could still feel the burn, and he could still remember his own name, meaning he could remember the names of all the people who he had lost, who had been hurt because of him. All the names and faces that he couldn't forget, no matter how much he drank.
Steven, Alice, Tosh, Owen, Estelle, Rose, the Doctor, or at least the Doctor as he had known him at first. He was never getting him back again, and the new Doctor flinched every time he so much as looked at him. Ianto.
That was the name he wanted to forget most of all. His beautiful Ianto. The one who he had taken with him against the 456, when what he should have done was made him stay outside. Not that Ianto would have done it even if he had told him to. But the point was that he hadn't even tried to make him stay outside, just led him in. And that had gotten him killed. Jack had been forced to watch as the man he loved slipped away from him and into the dark. He'd known he would lose him one day, but never this soon. Never like that.
Except he had known. Jack had known that the chances of Ianto living beyond thirty were almost zero. So his surprise at Ianto's death was a constant source of irritation to Jack, or at least it would be constant if Jack allowed himself to think about it for too long. He tried not to, because it felt horribly like an excuse for allowing Ianto to die. Oh, all Torchwood operatives die young. He was never going to be any different. How callous that seemed, and how arrogant. A lot like the arrogance that got Ianto killed in the first place. Just because Jack couldn't die didn't mean his team was invincible too.
A loud voice called a name he hadn't been expecting to hear.
"Doctor!"
He turned towards the sound. The voice held a distinct Scottish lilt to it, and belonged to a young woman with fiery red hair, a nice figure and fantastic dress sense. She was pointing at him, and looking at a man in a suit, with mad floppy brown hair, wide brown eyes and a bow tie. Obviously the Doctor's newest regeneration - and his new companion.
Jack turned back to the bar and signalled for another drink, deciding that the best course of action was to ignore the pair of them in favour of more alcohol. Much more alcohol. He could still remember who the Doctor, which meant he was, therefore, still too sober.
The bar man refilled his glass, but just as Jack was about to pick it up, the girl, who had appeared behind his left shoulder, picked it up instead. He turned to look at her, and possibly protest, but the protest died on his lips as he watched her knock it back as if it were water and raise her eyebrows.
Jack started as a hand settled on his right hand. He spun round to see this new Doctor on his other side, looking for all the world like he wanted to be able to take Jack's pain away. It was a look that Jack wasn't sure that he was comfortable with. He went to pull his hand back, but the Doctor took it, and held it tight. Jack paused, looking into the Doctor's eyes.
"I want to tell you just how sorry I am that I couldn't change it. I would have, I promise. But it was one of those events that had to happen. And I had to let it. I couldn't tamper with it. No matter how much I wanted to save you from that pain I couldn't. And there isn't a day goes by where I don't wish I had said 'bugger it' and gone and saved him anyway. Just him, because I knew how much he meant to you, and how happy you were with him."
The Doctor took a breath, obviously wanting to say more but not wanting to babble on. This wasn't about him, it was about Jack, and helping Jack get out of this spiral of drinking himself to death. Not that he would actually die from it. His liver was recuperating so fast he couldn't even get properly bladdered never mind give himself alcohol poisoning badly enough to kill him. It was at this point that Jack realised that he could still think in coherent sentences, and after twenty glasses of a substance that should have had him sloshed in no more than five, he gave up the idea of forgetting as a lost cause.
He sighed. "I don't blame you Doc. I know you would have been there if you could," he muttered, looking forlornly at the empty glass the Doctor's friend had replaced on the bar.
She was leaning on the bar, facing the rest of the club, watching the many aliens move around the dance floor without so much a flicker of surprise. She'd obviously been around the Doctor a while then. He spent another few seconds looking at her before turning back to the Doctor, who was still holding his hand, and still looking at him with that "let me help you" look that Jack still wasn't convinced he wanted to see there.
"Will you stop looking at me like that? You're making me nervous," he said, trying to make it sound like a joke and failing miserably. The Doctor seemed to catch himself and tried for a smile instead, but even that came out sad and apologetic.
The Doctor's friend leaned around Jack and flicked the Doctor round the head. "I'm not sure how that look is supposed to make him feel any better than the one you started with," she quipped in response to his indignant look.
The Doctor scowled half-heartedly, which made Jack laugh softly. A genuine laugh. The first one since before... the reminder made the laughter die in his throat. A soft hand touched his shoulder, and he looked up to see the Doctor's red-headed companion looking at him. Not with pity, nor apology, but understanding. But almost as if she didn't understand why she understood. Like she had forgotten the reason. He glanced quickly at the Doctor, who seemed to have caught the look too, and who clearly wanted to discourage any possibility of a look becoming a conversation.
"Come with us back to the Tardis, Jack. I... I want to try and... and..." he seemed to be struggling to find the words for what he wanted. It made perfect sense in his head, of course. Or maybe it didn't and he was just trying to show he wanted something. Though God only knew what it was. Jack looked back up at the Doctor's friend, who shrugged, clearly none the wiser.
Jack quirked an eyebrow, but it was a tired gesture. "Are you asking me to come back with you to the Tardis to have a chat before you swan off again, or are you asking me to come back to the Tardis so we can have a chat and I stay?" His tone was as tired as his expression.
"Whatever you want. If you want to come with me, I have no objections. None what so ever. And Amy would enjoy your stories, I think. And I've missed them." The last sentence was uttered softly, as though he hadn't meant for it to come out. The Doctor still had hold of his hand, Jack realised. He also noted that he didn't mind it all that much, because this was the Doctor, and Jack was never going to say no to such a freely given touch, not when they were usually something that the Doctor, in both his previous faces, had refrained from giving out too frequently.
"Can I be undecided for a little while?" he asked, his own voice cracking a little.
The Doctor pulled him close, releasing his hand only to fold Jack into a hug. "Course. Like I said, whatever you want."
Jack pulled back, and then with a little smile said, "Let me settle my tab and we can go then." He waved the barman over and paid him the rather hefty sum the evening's drinking came to. Less than usual, but enough that anyone who heard the amount would wince. The Doctor did. His friend did too. Jack just shrugged and stood up from the bar stool he had been occupying for the last however many hours.
The Doctor smiled at him, and Amy took his hand and pulled him to where the Tardis was parked. The Doctor faffed with his key for a moment, and Jack took the opportunity to run his hand over the wood. "Hey old girl. Long time no see, huh." His voice was quiet, almost reverent, and the Tardis gave a little hum in response, half "hello" and half "less of the old, thank you". Jack smiled as he stepped through the now open door. He paused. "You redecorated?"
"Didn't have an awful lot of choice," the Doctor replied.
"He crash landed in my garden," Amy quipped, grinning at the Doctor. "My aunt was livid about the mess it made of the shed."
"You like introducing yourself by making a mess, don't you?"
"What's that meant to mean?" the Doctor asked indignantly.
"Rose's job, my ship, Martha's house, Donna's wedding, and apparently your charming friend's shed? Any of these ringing any bells? And you haven't introduced us by the way. Where are your manners?" Jack leaned against the wall of the Tardis, exchanging an amused look with said charming friend.
The Doctor spluttered. "Her name is Amy, Amy Pond. And I'll have you know that none of those were my fault!" Jack and Amy both raised their eyebrows at him, and then at each other in clear disbelief as he pointed at them. "They weren't! Rose's job got blown up because it was that or be murdered by living plastic mannequins; your bloody ship was because you had to be all heroic and put the bloody bomb on it in the first place; I didn't blow up Martha's house, the Master did; Donna's wedding was doomed anyway given that the bloke she was going to marry planned to sacrifice her to a Racnos brood; and the Tardis crashed into Amy's shed!" He spoke at lightning speed and with many an incredulous and exasperated gesture. Some things didn't change between regenerations. Jack was glad of this particular trait had stuck. It was endearing.
Amy smiled sweetly and set off towards the nearest staircase. "Right, nice to meet you, Jack. I'm going to go and find the swimming pool." She pointed to the Doctor. "He swears blind there is one on this ship, but I have yet to find it." She walked away, pausing to give the Doctor a wink, followed by a don't fuck it up look.
The Doctor flushed slightly and grimaced at her back. He looked up almost shyly through his rather substantial fringe at Jack.. The silence stretched out. Neither of them moved. After a few minutes, the Doctor's innate inability to be quiet and still kicked in and he started to fidget. "So..."
"You said we could 'chat'. What did you want to talk about?" Jack was almost completely sober. He wasn't at all happy about it. Stupid metabolism.
"It was more for your benefit than mine. All I wanted to say, I already said."
"Oh..."
"If you don't wanna talk that's okay. We can just sit and talk about random rubbish if that's what you want. I don't mind," the Doctor said hurriedly, moving forward and placing his hand on Jack's shoulder. It wasn't a move that Jack had expected, because of the whole "wrong" thing. On seeing his expression the Doctor smiled and shook his head. "New me. I see you differently. I see you for who you are, not what you are. I can ignore it better now." As if to prove the point, he opened his arms, offering Jack a hug. Jack raised his eyebrows and stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the lithe frame in front of him.
They stayed that way for a few moments, and then the Doctor pulled back a little. Not so far that he was out of the embrace, just so he could look at Jack. "I missed you, you know," he whispered.
"I missed you too." Jack let the admission out in a soft tone. He had missed the Doctor, he realised. He'd missed the distraction that the man provided for him. He wanted him to take the pain away and make everything better. Show him something that could challenge him enough to stop feeling guilty about Ianto and leaving Gwen and Rhys behind.
"Will you stay?" the Doctor's voice hadn't risen at all.
"Yes."
The Doctor smiled his new, enigmatic smile. And then he did something that neither of them really saw coming. He leaned forwards and kissed Jack. It was a soft, chaste kiss. And then he pulled back and looked at Jack in shock. "I have no idea why I just did that."
"Do you regret it?" Jack tried to phrase the question so that he could show he didn't.
The Doctor's expression softened a little as he shook his head. He ducked his head a little, looking shy again. Jack moved his own head, capturing the Doctor's lips again in a less chaste kiss. It was still gentle, a lover's kiss, rather than the one he would consent to if the Doctor was just 'some bloke he'd picked up'. The kind of kiss he frequently gave Ianto. A twinge of guilt passed through him at the thought of the betrayal he was committing. But Ianto had always said that he didn't want Jack's promises of him being the last. He wanted Jack happy. He just wanted Jack to remember him as someone who was special. So Jack gave Ianto what he had wanted. He felt happiness coil in his chest for the first time since that horrible, horrible day.
The Doctor kissed him back sweetly, almost as though he had forgotten what it meant to be this close to someone. As though he had pulled back from it for a long time. Jack encouraged him to bring his head up, ending the slightly awkward angle, and deepened the kiss; drawing is tongue across the Doctor's bottom lip. The Doctor gasped and opened his mouth a little, allowing Jack to explore his mouth with his tongue.
Amy looked around the door frame. The Doctor was kissing Jack, clinging to him like a man drowning. She smirked. She suspected, the moment he'd mentioned Jack, that he was someone who was special. That explains why he was so funny about kissing you. She laughed quietly as she looked on. She gave a nod of approval as Jack slid his fingers into the Doctor's hair, a move which prompted an obscene noise from the Doctor, whose whole body moved towards Jack. She shared a conspiratorial moment of glee with the Tardis, who apparently thought that this whole situation was just peachy. She turned away, deciding to leave them to it. After all, she really did want to find that pool.
Author:
newra_skylarkeChallenge: Summer Holidays 2
Prompt Group: 4 - sober - babble - benediction - forget
Rating: PG... Nothing noteworthy. Mostly Jack being miserable!
Pairing: Eleven/Jack, with an undertone of Jack/Ianto
Spoilers/Warnings: to be on the safe side, let’s say that the spoilers run up to the current episode of Doctor Who (5.11... or whichever one it was with the bloke from Gavin and Stacey in) and the end of Torchwood COE... and warnings.... well....
Summary: Jack drinks himself stupid, the Doctor comes to help.
Jack took another glass from the bar man and downed it in one. The sharp spirit in the glass burned as it went down, but that just told him he hadn't drunk enough of it. He could still feel the burn, and he could still remember his own name, meaning he could remember the names of all the people who he had lost, who had been hurt because of him. All the names and faces that he couldn't forget, no matter how much he drank.
Steven, Alice, Tosh, Owen, Estelle, Rose, the Doctor, or at least the Doctor as he had known him at first. He was never getting him back again, and the new Doctor flinched every time he so much as looked at him. Ianto.
That was the name he wanted to forget most of all. His beautiful Ianto. The one who he had taken with him against the 456, when what he should have done was made him stay outside. Not that Ianto would have done it even if he had told him to. But the point was that he hadn't even tried to make him stay outside, just led him in. And that had gotten him killed. Jack had been forced to watch as the man he loved slipped away from him and into the dark. He'd known he would lose him one day, but never this soon. Never like that.
Except he had known. Jack had known that the chances of Ianto living beyond thirty were almost zero. So his surprise at Ianto's death was a constant source of irritation to Jack, or at least it would be constant if Jack allowed himself to think about it for too long. He tried not to, because it felt horribly like an excuse for allowing Ianto to die. Oh, all Torchwood operatives die young. He was never going to be any different. How callous that seemed, and how arrogant. A lot like the arrogance that got Ianto killed in the first place. Just because Jack couldn't die didn't mean his team was invincible too.
A loud voice called a name he hadn't been expecting to hear.
"Doctor!"
He turned towards the sound. The voice held a distinct Scottish lilt to it, and belonged to a young woman with fiery red hair, a nice figure and fantastic dress sense. She was pointing at him, and looking at a man in a suit, with mad floppy brown hair, wide brown eyes and a bow tie. Obviously the Doctor's newest regeneration - and his new companion.
Jack turned back to the bar and signalled for another drink, deciding that the best course of action was to ignore the pair of them in favour of more alcohol. Much more alcohol. He could still remember who the Doctor, which meant he was, therefore, still too sober.
The bar man refilled his glass, but just as Jack was about to pick it up, the girl, who had appeared behind his left shoulder, picked it up instead. He turned to look at her, and possibly protest, but the protest died on his lips as he watched her knock it back as if it were water and raise her eyebrows.
Jack started as a hand settled on his right hand. He spun round to see this new Doctor on his other side, looking for all the world like he wanted to be able to take Jack's pain away. It was a look that Jack wasn't sure that he was comfortable with. He went to pull his hand back, but the Doctor took it, and held it tight. Jack paused, looking into the Doctor's eyes.
"I want to tell you just how sorry I am that I couldn't change it. I would have, I promise. But it was one of those events that had to happen. And I had to let it. I couldn't tamper with it. No matter how much I wanted to save you from that pain I couldn't. And there isn't a day goes by where I don't wish I had said 'bugger it' and gone and saved him anyway. Just him, because I knew how much he meant to you, and how happy you were with him."
The Doctor took a breath, obviously wanting to say more but not wanting to babble on. This wasn't about him, it was about Jack, and helping Jack get out of this spiral of drinking himself to death. Not that he would actually die from it. His liver was recuperating so fast he couldn't even get properly bladdered never mind give himself alcohol poisoning badly enough to kill him. It was at this point that Jack realised that he could still think in coherent sentences, and after twenty glasses of a substance that should have had him sloshed in no more than five, he gave up the idea of forgetting as a lost cause.
He sighed. "I don't blame you Doc. I know you would have been there if you could," he muttered, looking forlornly at the empty glass the Doctor's friend had replaced on the bar.
She was leaning on the bar, facing the rest of the club, watching the many aliens move around the dance floor without so much a flicker of surprise. She'd obviously been around the Doctor a while then. He spent another few seconds looking at her before turning back to the Doctor, who was still holding his hand, and still looking at him with that "let me help you" look that Jack still wasn't convinced he wanted to see there.
"Will you stop looking at me like that? You're making me nervous," he said, trying to make it sound like a joke and failing miserably. The Doctor seemed to catch himself and tried for a smile instead, but even that came out sad and apologetic.
The Doctor's friend leaned around Jack and flicked the Doctor round the head. "I'm not sure how that look is supposed to make him feel any better than the one you started with," she quipped in response to his indignant look.
The Doctor scowled half-heartedly, which made Jack laugh softly. A genuine laugh. The first one since before... the reminder made the laughter die in his throat. A soft hand touched his shoulder, and he looked up to see the Doctor's red-headed companion looking at him. Not with pity, nor apology, but understanding. But almost as if she didn't understand why she understood. Like she had forgotten the reason. He glanced quickly at the Doctor, who seemed to have caught the look too, and who clearly wanted to discourage any possibility of a look becoming a conversation.
"Come with us back to the Tardis, Jack. I... I want to try and... and..." he seemed to be struggling to find the words for what he wanted. It made perfect sense in his head, of course. Or maybe it didn't and he was just trying to show he wanted something. Though God only knew what it was. Jack looked back up at the Doctor's friend, who shrugged, clearly none the wiser.
Jack quirked an eyebrow, but it was a tired gesture. "Are you asking me to come back with you to the Tardis to have a chat before you swan off again, or are you asking me to come back to the Tardis so we can have a chat and I stay?" His tone was as tired as his expression.
"Whatever you want. If you want to come with me, I have no objections. None what so ever. And Amy would enjoy your stories, I think. And I've missed them." The last sentence was uttered softly, as though he hadn't meant for it to come out. The Doctor still had hold of his hand, Jack realised. He also noted that he didn't mind it all that much, because this was the Doctor, and Jack was never going to say no to such a freely given touch, not when they were usually something that the Doctor, in both his previous faces, had refrained from giving out too frequently.
"Can I be undecided for a little while?" he asked, his own voice cracking a little.
The Doctor pulled him close, releasing his hand only to fold Jack into a hug. "Course. Like I said, whatever you want."
Jack pulled back, and then with a little smile said, "Let me settle my tab and we can go then." He waved the barman over and paid him the rather hefty sum the evening's drinking came to. Less than usual, but enough that anyone who heard the amount would wince. The Doctor did. His friend did too. Jack just shrugged and stood up from the bar stool he had been occupying for the last however many hours.
The Doctor smiled at him, and Amy took his hand and pulled him to where the Tardis was parked. The Doctor faffed with his key for a moment, and Jack took the opportunity to run his hand over the wood. "Hey old girl. Long time no see, huh." His voice was quiet, almost reverent, and the Tardis gave a little hum in response, half "hello" and half "less of the old, thank you". Jack smiled as he stepped through the now open door. He paused. "You redecorated?"
"Didn't have an awful lot of choice," the Doctor replied.
"He crash landed in my garden," Amy quipped, grinning at the Doctor. "My aunt was livid about the mess it made of the shed."
"You like introducing yourself by making a mess, don't you?"
"What's that meant to mean?" the Doctor asked indignantly.
"Rose's job, my ship, Martha's house, Donna's wedding, and apparently your charming friend's shed? Any of these ringing any bells? And you haven't introduced us by the way. Where are your manners?" Jack leaned against the wall of the Tardis, exchanging an amused look with said charming friend.
The Doctor spluttered. "Her name is Amy, Amy Pond. And I'll have you know that none of those were my fault!" Jack and Amy both raised their eyebrows at him, and then at each other in clear disbelief as he pointed at them. "They weren't! Rose's job got blown up because it was that or be murdered by living plastic mannequins; your bloody ship was because you had to be all heroic and put the bloody bomb on it in the first place; I didn't blow up Martha's house, the Master did; Donna's wedding was doomed anyway given that the bloke she was going to marry planned to sacrifice her to a Racnos brood; and the Tardis crashed into Amy's shed!" He spoke at lightning speed and with many an incredulous and exasperated gesture. Some things didn't change between regenerations. Jack was glad of this particular trait had stuck. It was endearing.
Amy smiled sweetly and set off towards the nearest staircase. "Right, nice to meet you, Jack. I'm going to go and find the swimming pool." She pointed to the Doctor. "He swears blind there is one on this ship, but I have yet to find it." She walked away, pausing to give the Doctor a wink, followed by a don't fuck it up look.
The Doctor flushed slightly and grimaced at her back. He looked up almost shyly through his rather substantial fringe at Jack.. The silence stretched out. Neither of them moved. After a few minutes, the Doctor's innate inability to be quiet and still kicked in and he started to fidget. "So..."
"You said we could 'chat'. What did you want to talk about?" Jack was almost completely sober. He wasn't at all happy about it. Stupid metabolism.
"It was more for your benefit than mine. All I wanted to say, I already said."
"Oh..."
"If you don't wanna talk that's okay. We can just sit and talk about random rubbish if that's what you want. I don't mind," the Doctor said hurriedly, moving forward and placing his hand on Jack's shoulder. It wasn't a move that Jack had expected, because of the whole "wrong" thing. On seeing his expression the Doctor smiled and shook his head. "New me. I see you differently. I see you for who you are, not what you are. I can ignore it better now." As if to prove the point, he opened his arms, offering Jack a hug. Jack raised his eyebrows and stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the lithe frame in front of him.
They stayed that way for a few moments, and then the Doctor pulled back a little. Not so far that he was out of the embrace, just so he could look at Jack. "I missed you, you know," he whispered.
"I missed you too." Jack let the admission out in a soft tone. He had missed the Doctor, he realised. He'd missed the distraction that the man provided for him. He wanted him to take the pain away and make everything better. Show him something that could challenge him enough to stop feeling guilty about Ianto and leaving Gwen and Rhys behind.
"Will you stay?" the Doctor's voice hadn't risen at all.
"Yes."
The Doctor smiled his new, enigmatic smile. And then he did something that neither of them really saw coming. He leaned forwards and kissed Jack. It was a soft, chaste kiss. And then he pulled back and looked at Jack in shock. "I have no idea why I just did that."
"Do you regret it?" Jack tried to phrase the question so that he could show he didn't.
The Doctor's expression softened a little as he shook his head. He ducked his head a little, looking shy again. Jack moved his own head, capturing the Doctor's lips again in a less chaste kiss. It was still gentle, a lover's kiss, rather than the one he would consent to if the Doctor was just 'some bloke he'd picked up'. The kind of kiss he frequently gave Ianto. A twinge of guilt passed through him at the thought of the betrayal he was committing. But Ianto had always said that he didn't want Jack's promises of him being the last. He wanted Jack happy. He just wanted Jack to remember him as someone who was special. So Jack gave Ianto what he had wanted. He felt happiness coil in his chest for the first time since that horrible, horrible day.
The Doctor kissed him back sweetly, almost as though he had forgotten what it meant to be this close to someone. As though he had pulled back from it for a long time. Jack encouraged him to bring his head up, ending the slightly awkward angle, and deepened the kiss; drawing is tongue across the Doctor's bottom lip. The Doctor gasped and opened his mouth a little, allowing Jack to explore his mouth with his tongue.
Amy looked around the door frame. The Doctor was kissing Jack, clinging to him like a man drowning. She smirked. She suspected, the moment he'd mentioned Jack, that he was someone who was special. That explains why he was so funny about kissing you. She laughed quietly as she looked on. She gave a nod of approval as Jack slid his fingers into the Doctor's hair, a move which prompted an obscene noise from the Doctor, whose whole body moved towards Jack. She shared a conspiratorial moment of glee with the Tardis, who apparently thought that this whole situation was just peachy. She turned away, deciding to leave them to it. After all, she really did want to find that pool.
no subject
Very touching and lovely.