Phew. Had to sit back and wait until it had sunk in. Really well written, a deep insight into the darkness in Jack and the inhumanity of the Doctor. Inhumanity? Bad choice of words. The Doctor's better than humans, who are capable of terrible cruelties. He's alien, but has far more heart than any human, considering what he's been through. Sorry, getting sidetracked.
This bit was the heart of the matter I think: "Jack remembered those eyes fixed on him when the Doctor had seen him as something that needed to be stopped, remembered for a few seconds being the centre of the Doctor’s universe. Trying to please him had never earned him that much attention."
That's the problem isn't it? The Doctor takes his companions for granted; he has to. He has to trust them, but he can't let them all the way in - maybe as a Time Lord he isn't even capable of the devotion some might want. They occasionally give him hell for not showing strong human emotion, but they're forgetting that he's not human. In this fic Jack has finally found how to be the centre of the Doctor's attention - to be the one who has to be stopped. It's not, I suspect, an uncommon realisation to many pyschologically disturbed people - including those who end up killing the object of their affection just so the pain of obsession will end.
No, Jack wouldn't do this. But fanfics are often about doing something the series can't/won't do. Taking Jack into the future where he's seen countless friends die, and knocking his psyche into the dark - he's pretty dark on Torchwood, let's face it. The Jack we know wouldn't - a sick Jack might.
I'd love to know what the aliens were planning on doing with the Doctor when they fixed him up.
As you know, I love powerful Doctor. He was brilliant in this - especially stopping time for those few instants. Powerful, righteous, and so easy for Jack to resent.
This was very well written dark - what you do exceptionally well because it has a great plot (the impending attack) and doesn't get straight to the angst but gives more of an episode first. I'd like to suggest a couple of things with the full knowledge that I'm not a writer and the point of writing is to enjoy it, so you'll probably just kick this out and fair enough too. Here goes.
I find it harder to imagine a 'good' character being abusive than an original character, or one who's had a brief appearance in the show and you can build on. That said I had no trouble seeing Jack doing this in the future - but then I'm not a Jack fan, and a lot of readers are.
I'd timidly suggest the Doctor not end up at death's door at the end as often. a) we love him to bits and it hurts, and b) it has more impact the less times it happens.
So glad I found this fic and glad you're still writing. Hope you don't mind the long comment - if I didn't love the writing so much I wouldn't have made the suggestions, so don't take it as criticism.
no subject
This bit was the heart of the matter I think: "Jack remembered those eyes fixed on him when the Doctor had seen him as something that needed to be stopped, remembered for a few seconds being the centre of the Doctor’s universe. Trying to please him had never earned him that much attention."
That's the problem isn't it? The Doctor takes his companions for granted; he has to. He has to trust them, but he can't let them all the way in - maybe as a Time Lord he isn't even capable of the devotion some might want. They occasionally give him hell for not showing strong human emotion, but they're forgetting that he's not human. In this fic Jack has finally found how to be the centre of the Doctor's attention - to be the one who has to be stopped. It's not, I suspect, an uncommon realisation to many pyschologically disturbed people - including those who end up killing the object of their affection just so the pain of obsession will end.
No, Jack wouldn't do this. But fanfics are often about doing something the series can't/won't do. Taking Jack into the future where he's seen countless friends die, and knocking his psyche into the dark - he's pretty dark on Torchwood, let's face it. The Jack we know wouldn't - a sick Jack might.
I'd love to know what the aliens were planning on doing with the Doctor when they fixed him up.
As you know, I love powerful Doctor. He was brilliant in this - especially stopping time for those few instants. Powerful, righteous, and so easy for Jack to resent.
This was very well written dark - what you do exceptionally well because it has a great plot (the impending attack) and doesn't get straight to the angst but gives more of an episode first. I'd like to suggest a couple of things with the full knowledge that I'm not a writer and the point of writing is to enjoy it, so you'll probably just kick this out and fair enough too. Here goes.
I find it harder to imagine a 'good' character being abusive than an original character, or one who's had a brief appearance in the show and you can build on. That said I had no trouble seeing Jack doing this in the future - but then I'm not a Jack fan, and a lot of readers are.
I'd timidly suggest the Doctor not end up at death's door at the end as often. a) we love him to bits and it hurts, and b) it has more impact the less times it happens.
So glad I found this fic and glad you're still writing. Hope you don't mind the long comment - if I didn't love the writing so much I wouldn't have made the suggestions, so don't take it as criticism.